juststopmoving:

Aubrey Plaza at Starbucks.

fineapplepizza:

oh sorry i was thinking about myself did you want something

slayboybunny:

heres a fun fact that shows a lot about me: im pretty allergic to bananas but didn’t know it at all growing up until one day when i was like 17 i was like “man, i love bananas. theyre always so tangy and make ur mouth all tingly” and my friend was like “thats. definitely not what a banana is supposed to be like” one doctors trip later, turns out im allergic to bananas.  

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

penceyprepofficial:

when I was like 9 my neighbors asked me to watch their fish and cat while they went on vacation and I was like “lol k” and while they were gone tHE FUCKING FISH DIED so when they got home I apologized to the mom and she was just like “no need to apologize, I turned the filter off so they would die because they are too much work. You did nothing wrong” and she gave me 20 bucks and that is the story of my first contracted murder

your first…?

justahetalialover:

Freedom

mylifeasqueenb:

girls all go to the bathroom together because that’s where we rap battle

fartgallery:

readingaroundthemovies:

fartgallery:

i need to date a girl with the initials AG so we can carve SW+AG on benches

Those r my mums initials…,

say hello to your new dad. i see that your tumblr blog contains some vulgar language. you’re grounded

shmapey:

justmyflawedlogic:

lokisgloriouspenis:

okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl

female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.

so in conclusion

if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick

image

image

THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE POST

gilderoythemouseprince:

sosuperawesome:

Jewelry by jerseymaids

Pls

harrystylesdildo:

turtle-beard:

I hate one direction and rihanna.

image

image

casualcissexism:

ok but now draw the other eye

lasagnababy:

in lit we were about to read a book on concentration camps and so my teacher told everyone to draw what came to mind when they thought of world war 2 and she thought the pictures were so good she hung them up on the wall and now i sit in front of this image

youngblackandvegan:

#true

but also, that’s the cutest little munchkin ever

juliet: what's in a name? that which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet; so romeo would, were he not romeo call'd, retain that dear perfection which he owes without a--
romeo: nice nice, so art thou a virgin?
JD